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Writer's pictureleonielepenos

Why I decided (and try) to NOT grieve but keep the vibe radically high

I decided to NOT let that vibe down. I decided to NOT go the downward Spirale down. I decided to NOT grief and suffer from loss and pain. Dressing up to fancy celebrate life was of course the last thing I could think of after having lost a friend. Is this disrespectful? Is this insane? Feeling pain, feeling confused, feeling between worlds - between reality and illusion. Feel like I gotta wake up from this nightmare now. I lost a friend. My best friend lost a close friend. She decided to check out, to leave this planet, us behind, she decided to change form - or: she committed suicide in the most brutal way. How to deal with that? What’s the best to do? I don’t know. And I don’t have to. Yes I am a spiritual guide. But honestly: I don’t know. And that’s ok. Put that pressure down. In this thing I am no role model, no coach, no teacher, no spiritual leader. Just human. With a heart broken into peaces. That soul - keeps me going though. That soul can’t break. That soul guides me through. From darkness into light. Shining brighter than ever before - so aligned, so connected. And this is a reminder for you, too - maybe helping you: FIRST THINGS FIRST: Put that pressure down: We don´t have to know. It´s okay to be human. It´s okay to not be perfect. It´s okay to not know. This is when the soul guidance takes over. So all I do is trying to be the best and highest version of myself during these dark times. Being there for my bf. Being compassionate, being loving. I try to not be in the grief state - as I know my energy is needed now, seeing the bigger picture - and this helps me healing, too. Is that the right decision? I still don’t know. What’s right - what’s wrong? What I felt was the urgent need to create radical happy moments. To push it to feel happiness. Is that insane? Why am I doing and sharing this?

Here is what I think:


1. Our western society often tells us it´s disrespectful to dress up and celebrate when just having lost someone. Is it? --> I don´t know. --> But I don´t think so, as when thinking of frequencies and energies, we heal ourselves and others when raising the frequency, when pushing it the emotional spirale upwards. So how to? Through creating (maybe superficial) actions. Fake it until you make it. Like in "Laugh Yoga" - you fake that you laugh - and at a certain point you just really gotta laugh. So what happens is you convice your body that everything is ok - and your body will react - sending messages to your brain, you will feel mentally better - your mind will follow - the soul knows it all intuitively - all connected, so smart: mind - body - soul. All levels.


2. Is it "spiritual bypassing" to "be/ seem" happy so shortly after losing someone? --> I don’t know. And again: I don’t have to. --> But it doesn´t feel like. For me it feels more like the next level, the part afterwards. Knowing one thing: at the moment it feels good and right for me to raise the frequency for this planet - to be strong, I don’t have to be perfect. Nor do you. It’s about healing. And this is individual. Of course mz heart is broke into pieces - so what I need is the best possible way of healing. And so do you. It’s about compassion. It’s about trusting my intuition. It´s about experiencing life and learning. It’s about unconditional love and supporting each other. It’s about facing the truth and the responsibility of doing our best to keep the frequency of the earth high. 3. "Suicide is egoistic" OR "Suicide is a sickness" OR "Suicide is a weakness" --> I don´t know. I really don´t. I don´t know what to think about these thesis. I don´t know enough about it. Seeing it from the spiritual perspective I want to try to put my feelings and what I felt and channeled into words. But again: This is something very personal - not perfect, no role model - just trying to explain energies and how to protect ourselves and beloved ones more in this. My friend committed suicide and didn´t die of a physical sickness - she was a highly sensitive, spiritually awakened soul - I am in contact with her. She was strong. But she couldn´t fight anymore - felt ashamed of failing: being sad as a spiritual happy life coach. I feel like we have to get active in this topic. We have to talk openly about it: Facing Darkness as a spiritual Leader. She was so ashamed. She felt so guilty. She felt so wrong. And she felt: No one could help her, as therapists didn´t get her, that were provided from the state. For me this is facing the truth. For me this is dealing with it. For me this is breaking the ice, breaking through old pattern and outdated "keeping it secret, being a ashamed of" - and then: spreading the message with lightness to not scare people too much. When we go through the darkest darkness and then making it: This is how we truly help healing. Radically true, transformative and at the same time keeping the energy high enough to heal.


4. Why I do all this? Because: We can’t lose more angels, lightworkers, pure souls down here. My friend who decided to leave this planet taught me one thing: it’s tough down here as an awakened one. Masters in former times usually didn’t make it until this point. The frequency of the earth is that high like never before - meaning it’s challenging like never been before. Being a highly sensitive soul, an awakened one, who created a freedom lifestyle and heaven on earth - then losing a lot - it’s hard. I get her. I get that. Been through that, too. So don’t be even more harder on you - be compassionate and loving instead. Allow yourself to have fun. To fucking keep the vibe high. When spreading negativity around, we pollute the planet - so heal: cry - face your pain - embrace it - but then: actively push it to your break through for the healing of this world. It’s not about you anymore. It’s about the collective. It’s about the healing of this world. So don’t quit. Don’t choose the downward Spirale, but all the way up. Especially now - in the darkest darkness. Level. Up. That’s why I decided to post JOYFUL UPLEVELING things lately instead while going through loss and grief. Don’t judge me. Or judge me. Tbh: i couldn’t care less. Judgement is the ego. Love and compassion is unity. This world needs strong fighters of light, powerful souls, who are awakened, who feel and see clearly and still keep going. Fight for Light. I love you. Even if there is so much hate around. Choose and Spread Love. No matter what. Not in a flowery hippie way - but radically real. This goes deep. This is about real love. A commitment. No matter what. To stay in the love frequency only. In Light ❤️



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